The person you are on the inside, in the outside

Ry and their brother on their first bikes, younger than they can remember.

My first memories of riding a bike were so early in my life that it’s hard to distinguish what I actually remember from pictures, film, and stories told by my parents. However, I am certain of my first clear cycling memory.

I was so excited. My twelfth birthday present was going to be a bicycle, and it was a step toward independence from my parents. We went shopping and I checked out all the bikes until I found the perfect one. It was a 26er with 20 gears! What would I use them all for?! I could spin my pedals backward! I was going to have so much fun riding the oh-so-90’s, yellow and pink, mind-blowingly expensive $100 bike! Paired with the shiny blue helmet that sparkled in the sunlight that my grandparents got me, I was going to look great!

It was summer break and time for me to stretch my legs and enjoy my newfound freedom, so I strapped on my helmet and set out for my very first solo ride ever. I headed down the street toward the Jr./Sr. high school I’d be attending a little over a year later. I was happy and carefree. Less than a half mile into my ride, a car full of older kids pulled up beside me as I rode. One of them shouted, “Nice helmet…”

It absolutely was, so I replied instantly, “Thank you!”, in my pre-pubescent voice. Then they finished their sentence.

“Faggot!” Laughter erupted from the car as they sped off. That's the first bike ride I remember. It was the day I learned that expressing myself was something to be ashamed of. Even as I write this, I carry that shame.

Throughout my life I’ve been informed over and over again that it isn’t OK to be me. It’s the times people comment disparagingly about my clothing. The times I’ve been threatened with being fired and told to my face that I am hated for being an immigrant. The times I’ve been assaulted while riding a bike. The times when my joy has been turned into shame.

In spite of all that, I’m finally learning to be OK with myself. This is what They Cycle is about. It’s about the beautiful, imperfect people that know what it’s like to be othered for being themselves. It’s not about cycling. It’s about people. It’s about being the person you are on the inside, in the outside.

Ry poses for their university alumni magazine in 2022